Why Monday nights matter...

If you ask most blokes how they're doing, chances are you'll get one of three answers.

"Yeah, good."

"Not bad."

"Living the dream."

We all know that doesn't always mean they're actually good.

That's why Change the Narrative Project exists.

We started because we got sick of watching good people struggle in silence, convinced they had to carry the weight of the world on their own. Somewhere along the way, too many of us were taught that asking for help was weakness, that talking about how we're feeling made us less of a man.

To be honest... that's rubbish.

Every Monday night we open the doors and create a space where men can simply be human. No judgement. No pressure. No fixing. Just good people sitting in a circle having honest conversations.

There's no magic formula, but there is a structure.

We kick things off with a simple check-in. "How are you today, out of 10?" Sounds easy enough, but you'd be surprised how often that's the first time someone has been asked that question all week.

From there we share something positive that's happened since the last meeting (yes, even if it's just remembering to put the bins out). Then comes the chance to offload. Whatever's been sitting on your shoulders, this is the place to put it down for a while.

After a quick break and a coffee, we finish with a couple of conversation starters. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're thought-provoking, but they're always designed to get kōrero flowing. We wrap things up with gratitude because even on the toughest days, there's usually something worth holding onto.

Simple.

No one is forced to speak. No one is expected to have all the answers. Sometimes just listening is enough.

The reality is, New Zealand continues to lose far too many people to suicide every year. In 2024/25 there were 630 suspected self-inflicted deaths, and around three-quarters of those were men. That's 474 fathers, brothers, sons, mates, workmates and neighbours who aren't coming home.

Those numbers matter.

But behind every statistic is someone's favourite person.

We can't promise that one conversation will change someone's life.

What we do know is that silence rarely does.

Kōrero has always been a powerful part of who we are in Aotearoa. Sharing stories, listening without judgement, learning from each other and reminding someone they aren't carrying life's load alone can make more difference than most people realise.

You don't need to be at rock bottom to come along.

You don't need a diagnosis.

You don't need to have your life falling apart.

You just need to show up.

Whether you've had the best week of your life or one of the worst, there's a seat waiting for you.

No pressure.

No expectations.

Just real people having real conversations.

Because changing the narrative doesn't happen through big speeches or social media posts.

It happens one conversation at a time.